Our wedding: Fear and Evil Schemes

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Courage often skips a generation. And often, it comes back from unexpected places.

“If God wants us to get married after campus, he will give us car in 2010.”

I spoke these words to my then girlfriend, very skeptical that a God who could split the Red Sea could grant such a bizarre request. We had just talked of the possibility of marriage. We were both very serious with each other and we did not desire to waste each other’s time. Waturi was waiting for my response. She wasn’t getting any younger and she wasn’t ready to date for ten years; neither was I.

We were 19, madly in love and full of ambition. I didn’t doubt the love we had for each other nor the ambition. The age just made the latter seem an invincible feat. We were sophomores in campus who each lived on roughly 10 dollars a week. We depended on our parents and we could hardly pay our own hostel rent. Sure, we had part time jobs teaching at a nearby primary school. She and I each earned 12,000sh from the school for the spare time we spent teaching. Still, where would a car come from? A car in 2010? It was my cowardly version of saying, “This won’t work.” For me, praying for a car was one of those requests that fell in the same category as, “I want to marry Halle Berry.” Or so I thought. I went home that day and decided to take up the challenge of faith. Since when did any request become too simple for the maker of the galaxy? I decided to believe that He could do it even without seeing how. I wrote Turi a letter and told her to pray for God to give either one of us a car before 2010 ended.

On June 23rd 2010, Turi received a car for her birthday.

It was the kind of feeling that simultaneously made sense and felt strange because nothing’s too big for Jesus and it was all very new respectively. It was the first sign of many that led to our wedding anniversary on September 1st 2012.

But this is no fairy tale. And for those that deem it such, it may be to your romantic demise that the evil witches and the scary dragons do exist before you can kiss the princess and marry her. Our enemy, fallen Lucifer, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. To align yourself to the work of Christ has a heavy cost. It isn’t a popular path but it is the right path beloved. Schemes of men too are common in that path less travelled by this generation. I pray that this post may be of encouragement to any who fear to respond to a call from Christ.

When I placed the ring on Turi’s finger, it was like the eye of Sauron sensed we were approaching Mordor. The attacks came out in scores and like Lord of the Rings, we were outnumbered. When asked why, It wasn’t easy to explain how Christ had put it in my heart to take this course so I responded with an equally “why not?” The relationship was of age for marital convenience. It was the kind of response that satisfied the common person. But there was more to it and failure to reveal it brought resistance. I knew deep down, the resistance would be faced even if genuine responses were availed. Christ opened my mind and heart to see which battles to pick and which to leave. They were but obstacles. My focus had to be on the impression etched in my spirit to continue. This met equal resistance.

The first kind of opposition was routed from a common plague in our country. Tribalism. The idea that to marry from another tribe is betrayal to your own kind was not foreign to us. It was clear that some of our tribes-people were sick with the idea. Christ strengthened us to withstand. The bitterness in their words weighed me down. Yet somehow, Turi and I survived it. Fear and evil schemes come in aggression. Be gentle and show respect. It’s the way Christ would do it. It won over many who could not believe that Turi and I were ready to disown our tribes at the expense of owning God’s purpose for us.

The opposition became personal. Friends got upset that I did not inform them I was going to propose to Turi. One in particular said she would not attend our wedding. Another became cross with us because we did not select them to be in the bridal line-up. Another lied to Turi’s father and uncles about me. The results were dire to the extent that the wedding was almost cancelled.  Another came to help in the wedding preparations and caused much heartache. She gathered information and spoke ill of us and my family during the preparation. Another spoke ill of our families and yet laughed with us telling us congratulations all the while. The Lord watches over his children and brought to light all the secret deeds. He showed us who to avoid and who not to connect with. A week before the wedding, another lied to us about doing Turi’s hair for free. She promised to give Turi a free hair treatment worth 50,000kes. On the day of payment, she would not turn up and cause us to incur debt. It would be her way to settle a personal score. But praise be to Jesus who showed us her devious heart. Before Turi did her hair, the hairdresser felt she shouldn’t start. Christ warned us that the lady had ill motives. We heeded and found out it was true. We did not fall prey to her evil scheme and had a beautiful bride with flowing hair on September 1st 2012. Evil schemes seem to prevail but our God never fails. Wicked men plot but they plot in vain because the Lord is against them. I was shocked at the enmity caused by a silver band around my fiancée’s finger. Yet God encourages, protects and honours those that follow him. Not because they are worthy

All those things may seem casual in wedding preparations but the enemy can make their gravity so grand that it breaks your heart. And when it does, you had better forgive them because if you do not, the enemy succeeds. He slows you down with a heavy heart. You lose focus on the goal and start fighting battles you were not made for. 1st Thessalonians 4:6b says, “The Lord is an avenger.” In the NIV it says “…no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you.”

After it all, Turi and I prayed for each person that tried to frustrate us. We prayed for God’s mercy in their lives, for in their ignorance, they were opposing Christ.  And if you are a follower of Christ, recognize that when evil men plot against you, they plot against Jesus. And Christ’s revenge for them is love. Yes you heard me right. Love. You may wonder, how can He love them after they tried to ruin me? It’s simple. Same way he loved you when you did not deserve eternal life. You need to understand that when the Lord says vengeance is mine, it is a statement of love; he avenged all evil on that cross when he died for our sins. So, the perfect revenge God would want to see for a lady who tries to ruin the bride’s hair is that she comes to the realization of God’s love and not fall victim to her insecurity and jealousy. The perfect revenge for a man that schemes to ruin a relationship is that he may fall at the feet of the cross and give his life to Christ. This is our God.

If you cast your hurt, your pain and struggles for him to handle, you will succeed. It was hard to forgive but when we did, we moved faster that before. Evil schemes can turn into your good fortune with Christ in control. Turi and I met in the park to pray each time we hit a snag. The power of communion with God never felt more necessary in my life.

jet-weddingGod’s blessings have been grand in my life but I believe the costs have been grand too. They are worthy costs. In this generation, the courage to do the right thing must return. So I would like to instill courage to many young people all over the world in two areas by the grace of God. One. Pursue purity. When I told a friend of mine that Turi and I waited for sex until marriage, they refused to believe me. To them it is impossible to date for three years in the 21st century and marry having not had it. Yet, It became something to disdain as opposed to appreciate. Our generation glorifies the wrong things and we should not be okay with it. I encourage those who may face evil words and schemes regarding honouring God’s covenant of sex till marriage. Stand firm. It is worth the wait! When I proposed to Turi and faced a lot of opposition, few said to forget the wedding and have her move in with me. After all, everyone is doing it. To say no meant to be laughed at and regarded silly for doing it as Christ would want it. Believe me, fight for it. It is worth the wait. And if you have already compromised that area, fear not for Christ is the one that enables us to wait for marriage, not ourselves. You are not less worthy because of it. Turi and I had the hots for each other, we keep saying it is a wonder we made it. We are not worthy; we are just forgiven and favoured in obedience. He regards all past as past if you confess. He forgives and he gives you a new chance. Start pursuing it today.

Secondly I encourage those that wait on the Lord, faithfully reading the Bible, his word. Apply it and be not ashamed. Hold fast; He’s coming to save the day. You are not out of reach.

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV)

 

Comments

Ernest Wamboye is a disciple of Jesus Christ, a husband, a father, an author and a speaker. He has been married to the lovely Waturi since September 2012. They have a passion for youth ministry. Together they minister to young adults on the gospel and pre-marital relationships. Ernest has authored two books, The Human Temple, a novel, and Lust and the City- a guide on sexual purity.

Discussion63 Comments

  1. I rejoice in the wonderful testimony that God has given you…to remind us time and time again,that He is God…
    He goes before you,is around you and with you even when you cannot see Him.God bless u both! 🙂

  2. CONGRATS ERNEST AND TURI…U GUYS MAKE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN….ALL THE BEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!JUDY

  3. Congrats Ernest and Turi.
    Exodus 14: 14 "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you."

  4. This is an inspiration Ernest,expect more from God for He will bless and enlarge your territory.God is able to do just what He said He will do.

  5. Congratulation,when God starts something,He is faithful to finish it.
    Blessed marriage.
    Yes,purity is no easy,24years now and still going strong.
    We have okeyed many things.Been doing Mentorship in school and its amazing kids as young as 12years are doing it.
    Its unbelievable!

  6. Your encouragement has touched my heart. Thank you and congratulations to you & Turi. May God hold your hands as you go through this beautifully ordained journey.

  7. Hey buddy, your transcendence, polish and sublimity has rightly won you laurels in our generation.Thanks for siding with truth and upholding to the christian faith. You really edifies my heart whenever you spend the ink. God bless you Ernest!

  8. Congratulations from Uganda: this is why I follow this blog: your honesty and realness that comes with it is amazing. We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus.

  9. Waturi and Ernest. I keep saying this to you two, I do not know you, have never met you, can only tell who you are if I met you on the streets thanks to facebook profile pictures BUT…..You two are the most amazing people I have "meet" in this generation. Your heart for God is just mind-blowing especially in a generation where being a Christian is on of the most uncool things you can ever be. Your hear for wanting him to be known to all who are alive and breathing is just craaaaazy but good crazy! I have learned from you two that those who wait upon the Lord, he shall renew their strength and he shall mount them on wings like eagles. What joy is this? God has been really speaking to me through your lives as I have this great desire to marry at a young age. nOT ONLY HAVE YOU GUYS SHOWN THAT IT IS REALISTIC, YOU HAVE ALSO SHOWN ME THE ESSENCE OF WAITING ON THE LORD. I am forever indebted to you both. May God just continue blessing your union, may he use you guys to speak to all corners of the Earth about his goodness and the Love he has for all especially his father heart. How he's forgiving daddy and loves us to a point of death (literally) . More of the Lord's love in your lives.

    Angela Karanja

  10. congrats to both of u, sorry for the betrayal by ur 'friends' , May God bless you all, shows that what God has put, no man can destroy. baraka tele

    daniel wendot

  11. Lack of words,This is soooooooooooo amazing.Very encouraged.Congrats Ernest and Waturi.May the Almighty bless your marriage.Wish you well in all your endevours

  12. Blessings dearest cousin for the words that spur on to love and good deeds. I have been encouraged by your honest, insightful reflections. You and Turi are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you both

  13. WOW! It's nice to read someone's practical stories and actually get valuable life lessons. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR WIFE. THE CURRENT GENERATION REALLY NEEDS THIS, EVEN THOUGH SOME MAY NOT APPRECIATE THE MESSAGE PRESENTLY………..

  14. Amen!!! and congrats to you two! I may not know you Ernest but Turi I have known for over 8yrs, we were in school together in kianda when we still called her Allen. Hope u remember me Allen, u looked very beautiful on your wedding dear and I wish the both of you all the blessings in the world!

  15. Ah, as always im blessed to be reading this….and can only hold my breath as I wait to read more. It's a blessing to gain insight from yaal even through hard life lessons, and yet God's faithfulness shines Brighter still as you hand HIM control,,,,Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Wamboye, indeed we were not given a spirit of fear but a Spirit of POWER , of LOVE and of SOUND MIND…2Tim 1:7..May this be your portion.

  16. Wonderful!! I am very impressed by this but right now what impresses me the most is that you understand that it's important to forgive and that God avenges with love, So true!! That's how much we are loved…it's just like a mother..when her two sons are fighting she will not hold out one against the other for him to punch. We have to understand that The person who wronged us is as valued and loved by God just as we are n is not a lesser son or daughter. True that we have also hurt God n have been pardoned so why not behave likewise?If we cannot do so then we shouldn't dare to say the famous "Our Father" whose words will hold us to a huge debt, "…forgive us …as we forgive…" Some Priest at our school during one meditation said that when we pray for those who've wronged us…we feel this relief, difference, we seize to be affected by them any more, we are much free-er..It's not magic, but graces n lots:-),our feelings n emotions seize to be controlled by them any further, don"t you want this?awesome feeling
    Then one other thought, when a person is bitten by a snake, it is them who have to go to a doctor.Same thing, it is us who've been hurt"bitten" who have to get healed, n not the snake people.So it's pointless to go after the snake after it's bitten you. We also have to stop thinking that we're doing this person a huge favour by frgiving them cause the benefit is really ours…Waaa….sijui I could go on n on about this topic,even write an article
    Anyway, congrats again, Good example…happy Matrimony!!!N all this best in this vocation. You've created a path to heaven with you names on it!

  17. wooooooooooooooooooooooooow.HE truly is faithful HE never takes away his promises and what HE has given is ours to enjoy.we are not children of darkness but children of the light.Thanx veery much for sharing this MR.and MRS ernest wakhusama,your union is destined for great and mighty thins which the LORD has in store for you.

  18. Be Blessed Ernest & Turi! May you be Role Models to all young ones out there. i agree with youGods ways are surely the best. He is also a God of second chances i'm living by his Grace

  19. Oh my goodness….you guys WAITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It's such an encouragement to know there is a remnant….. Congratulations again on ur wedding and may God bless you richly, and honour you in your marriage for honouring Him in your courtship.
    Nduta

  20. Who would have ever thought that one day from those days during the sleepovers when we would be talking about relationships and we would ask the guys who in excans 2008 who they had a crush on and who they would wish to marry and they would mention names and we would tell them to pray about it and the God we serve is a great God who answers prayers coz he did answer a certain mans prayers and he did it in more ways than one. I wish the happy couple the best and with God on ur side am sure u will make it

  21. To be honest you guys are such an inspiration and may God bless you so much. May he give you so much Grace to endure this journey. You make me believe in what i have right now.

  22. Wow! Don't know what to say. God is amazing! Bless you and the Lord continue to use you both to speak to many more :)and again, congs! – Delia

  23. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it comes when it is very needed. May God Bless you and use your union to encourage many who have given up on marriage…

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