An apology to women


To every daughter of Eve,

From pages of papers to stages of theatres may this word be echoed and transmitted to the souls of maidens all around the world. May the hearts of the fairer sex be warmed and inspired by the words of this letter. May your hopes be rekindled and the embers of faith be evoked to new life from the brutality this world has laid upon you. For nothing lies farther from the truth than to concede that the broken hearts you have nothing to do with my kind. Men.

So I write this on behalf of the willing men of planet earth. I write this to apologise for all the times of being worthless friends and demonstrating worthless trends.

For all the times, we men have used your bodies for selfish pleasures; I say we’re sorry. For times we’ve walked away after getting the carnal desires of our mortal selves, I say we’re sorry. For all the times of brutal rape and coerced intimacy, I say we’re sorry. We cannot erase the dirt we placed but we depend on the greatest man who can. He can.

For all the times we spoke in anger and hurt your feelings, I say we’re sorry. For times we struck you with our hands and used your bodies as punching bags, I say we’re sorry. For all the times we called you names and degraded your self-worth, I say we’re sorry. For all the times we called you “bitch”, “slut”, “whore” or any other word that eroded your esteem, I say we’re sorry. We cannot erase the words we said but we depend on the greatest man to heal your hurts and to forgive our mouths. He will.

For all the times we failed to protect you, as brothers, fathers, husbands and lovers, I say we’re sorry. For all the times we refused to stand up for your welfare and acknowledge your important position in our lives and in life holistically, I say we’re sorry. For times we failed to give you hope and times we left you to do our part, I say we’re sorry. We cannot undo the role we failed to play but we can aspire to save the day today, tomorrow and by your grace tomorrow. Not by our strength but by the greatest man who loves you in a way we never can. He does.

For times we abandoned you for other women and for times we cheated on you for temporary happiness, I say we’re sorry. For loving pleasure over responsibility and demanding submission without giving love, I say we’re sorry. For dancing with the alcohol bottle and cavorting with drugs and substances and breaking homes, I say we’re sorry. We cannot recreate what we put asunder but we can make ourselves better by not just making you number one in our lives but by making you the ONLY ONE. We do this from the example of the greatest man who asks us to love you to the point of dying for you. He did.

For times we played with your hearts and did not define the relationship, for times we refuted to submit to Almighty God and treated you as worthless goods. For times we failed to open the door, for times we failed to say we love you so, for times we didn’t keep our promises and for times we discouraged your hearts for the hope of marriage (the most beautiful institution in the eyes of GOD Almighty) we say we’re sorry. We cannot undo a broken heart but we can hope in the greatest man to give you brand new hearts. He can.

That this letter may be copied to every lady hurting, broken, hopeless, angry, disturbed, abused, wounded, upset and rejected. I plead for you to give the greatest man a chance before you give your heart to the next fleshly man. That you may find true satisfaction in the Man of Christ before you seek it in a mortal man. That you may have a hunger for his presence to be made whole before you seek a mere man to fill that hole. That you may have a thirst for his spirit more than a love for your selfish needs and desires. That your hearts may he hidden in Christ such that any man who desires it, must be in HIS presence first. That through daily time in his word you may know the worth he places on you and accept a man who loves you as he does; to the point of death. To trust without walls that he knows the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. And to submit to His majesty by asking Him to actualize those very plans including the plan for a marriage that works with a man submitted to Christ. Take heart, they exist.

Yours truly,

All men willing to put their egos aside and submit to Christ

“The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

 -Mathew Henry.-



Ernest is a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband, and a father. He has been married to Waturi since September 2012. They have three children- Thandiwe, Ivanna, and Theo. He is also the author of four books. The Wamboyes are passionate to see the Gospel of Jesus Christ clearly taught and understood in our post-modern world. They are champions of biblical discipleship and furthering the Kingdom of God by transforming one person at a time. They are the founders of The Relationship Centre Ltd (TRC), an organisation that aims to promote biblical family values in contemporary urban communities.

Discussion87 Comments

  1. Ernest!!!! This is absolutely beautiful!!! Wow!!!!!!!!! I had tears as i read it, genuine and deep… You are the few men submitted to Christ and may this piece challenge others!


  3. Ernest God has given you a wonderful gift thanks for speaking to me surely God intended to reach me through your article. I am blessed and i pray that you may be blessed abundantly.

  4. Amen. I forgive. I truly do…. Thank you Ernest!Some nugget to the ladies that I picked from QT yesterday:Ps 45:10-11 10Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
    Forget your people and your father’s house.
    11 Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

    God is so enthralled by your beauty(in all its wholistic sense), forget the past hurts…and Just allow him to love you.

  5. God bless you!!! proof that there are still good men out there, because of this i will not give up on my boyfriend. your article saved a relationship 🙂

  6. "That through daily time in his word you may know the worth he places on you and accept a man who loves you as he does; to the point of death."

    Just wondering if the man you described above exists.

  7. we're sorry for every time we despised every time we despised those who didn't despise abuse or use you
    we'e sorry for not leading you in the ways of Christ

  8. Ernest, this is a beautiful piece if only the brothers would agree to totally surrender and submit themselves to Christ.

  9. Just wondering, how does you who hasn't wronged any of these women make it all better for them, I don't think you can shoulder the responsibility for those who don't care because if they did they would make the apology themselves?

    • The truth is, I am not without fault. Like other men, I too have wronged some of these women. Not all, but some. Indirectly and at times directly. Only Christ can handle that burden. However, hopefully, this post will encourage some women and give them hope that there are a few men out there who are willing to submit to Christ and make things right again.

  10. Reading this just brought back so many memories, both good and bad. Letting go of the hurt and forgiving took a while for me but this letter just reminded of how rejuvenated I felt once I chose to forgive and move on….bless you Ernest….

  11. If most men though and reasoned like you. . . .Lovely piece. May God bless you and continue filling you with such encouraging words

  12. its not just a piece of creative writing, you've just spoken God's words directly to me….I need him more in my life than any fleshly man can ever satify in me…I need to re-dedicate my life life again to him

  13. God bless you and favor you. Indeed you are a Christian known by your fruits, this piece is all the encouragement I needed.

  14. This piece was absolutely talking to me…. i just wish the guys who do this to ladies would read this and reduce their ego… they have made good ladies bad even worse..

  15. Sometimes the thing that will make the pain go away is a simple SORRY.thank you so much for allowing yourself to be used for htis divine purpose.

    Yours truly,

  16. Thank you so much for writing this, all i really wanted to hear was 'am sorry for everything' now my heart can forgive n let go, thank you for this gift

  17. Thanks alot Ernerst for this blog.Am learning alot abt my walk with God.Thanks again,May God bless u as u continue ministering n restoring souls to Christ.

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