Of Kings, lascivious women and alcohol


Proverbs 31:3‭-‬5 “Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.” (ESV)

Proverbs refers to the godly man as a king. He asserts that two things will destroy your kingly nature- women and alcohol. If a righteous man wants a firm hold on his regal life, he must make up his mind not to be intoxicated by the charm of a woman’s nudity and the allure of alcohol’s stupor.

Kings are men to whom the whole nation looks. The righteous man must see his family as the people he is leading and the ones that look to him. The unmarried man must see his future family as exactly that. The cultivation of self-control as far as women and alcohol are concerned is a fight to lead your family and inspire many more that need your life to be their example.

Kings make laws. The righteous man must see that every decision he makes is a law to govern his future self and his future family. Some Kings have allowed the totalitarian regime of an adulteress to take over the throne. As this evil queen makes the decisions, alcohol cements them.

Kings conquer battles and gain new territories. If there is a sad ending to the stories of men who allow naked women or strong drink to rule over their souls, it is this- you never leave the castle. You never explore new territories and you never conquer new lands. You remain in your castle’s bed, fornicating with a valueless woman, while imbibing toxins of the body. For some idle men, that picture is a fantasy come true- and that is why they should never be king. Unbeknown to this king, your kingdom remains a village in light of other growing nations. For the righteous man, that is a stoop from his purpose. As neighbouring kingdoms do great exploits and maximise their youthfulness, the man seized by women or alcohol remains in a state of unachieved potential. If he is given to these two kingdom breakers, the righteous man does worse than fail to explore new territories and conquer new lands- he pillages his own kingdom. His ire is turned to his wife. His frustration to his children. His resources are exported to foreign kings to conquer that which is his.

Proverbs call righteous men to think like Kings. Any righteous man living free from adulterous women and stupefying alcohol must understand that we are all potential addicts. We don’t have to live up to that potential, but we can be wary and wise in the humility of unachieved failure. Anyone living bound must know that we are also all potential freed-men. We owe it to ourselves to live up to that particular potential for it is the baseline of starting life as a man- mastering the ability to temper your appetites.

Many may believe that restoring the kingdom starts with kicking adulterous women out of your bed and changing the contents of what goes into your mouth. That is true on a practical level but it won’t offer lasting change if certain foundations are not corrected. It will be akin to the roaring and raging of a lion that’s bound. Nobody fears the roar of a caged lion. But as much as the purr of a free lion will send enemies packing. You must be free in your soul before you can act successfully. And the way to be free in your soul is as follows:

First, you must know that lasting change comes from the inside out and not the other way around. And your innermost man is your spirit. Your spirit is naturally dead and rebellious to God. But if your spirit is regenerated, your course will be refreshed and you can be attracted to the ways of God in His Bible. How? You must understand that the struggle against lust and alcohol is at the deepest level a spiritual nature called sin. And sin was defeated at calvary by the Lion of Judah- Jesus Christ. The power to conquer sin lives in all who are born again- those that believe in Jesus as the Son of God, repent of their sins, and accept His sacrifice on calvary as an atonement for them. You were once a dead lion before Christ, but you are now alive and free through the liberty of Jesus.

Secondly, you must know your identity. A freed lion that believes the open cage is locked will remain a bound lion. A firm understanding of who you are shapes the rest of the healing process. As a born again believer, you are already accepted by God. You are not fighting sin to be accepted. You are already accepted. You are already positioned as a child of God. Also it is more true that you are fighting FROM victory and not necessarily FOR victory. The victory was already awarded at the cross. From that triumph, you are now exercising power and exerting strength. Any exertion of strength from any other source will leave you tired and weary. There are Christians who battle sin and grow weary and give up. They forget that they have access to unlimited spiritual resources to overcome. This mind change can spark faith and break an addiction in a short time.

Thirdly, you must submit to the ultimate King. The righteous man has the King of Kings to look up to- Jesus. King Jesus conquered death and hell (by far the hardest kingdoms to subdue). He can help you conquer women and alcohol. Learn from that King. Submit to his power in repentance and place your kingdom daily under His control. You must not only have Jesus as saviour over your life (being born again), you must also have him as LORD over it (submitted to His rule). Having Jesus Lord over your life and placing your kingdom daily under His rule means actively spending time with Him. You cannot learn from the Ultimate King if you are too busy for Him. I have seen that a daily quiet time in the Secret Place, reading His word and prayer, is an unmatched way to keep the righteous man awake.

Fourthly, kings learn from other kings. Look at fellow righteous men subduing intrusions into their kingdoms. Read on these kings and on their victories over dragons, witches and warlocks. Study their failures. Learn from their mistakes. Partner with those who are under the Ultimate King and form alliances and coalitions. Make partnerships of war and pacts of peace. Never walk alone.

Proverbs 31:3‭-‬5 “Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.” (ESV)


Ernest is a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband, and a father. He has been married to Waturi since September 2012. They have three children- Thandiwe, Ivanna, and Theo. He is also the author of four books. The Wamboyes are passionate to see the Gospel of Jesus Christ clearly taught and understood in our post-modern world. They are champions of biblical discipleship and furthering the Kingdom of God by transforming one person at a time. They are the founders of The Relationship Centre Ltd (TRC), an organisation that aims to promote biblical family values in contemporary urban communities.

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