The League of World Class Gentlemen

Growing up, the world told me that if I wanted them to know I’m a man, I must raise my voice and be heard above the stereo and television combined at volume 26 and 32 respectively. I had to grow muscles that bulged like the Himalayas such that I couldn’t touch my shoulder if I flexed a bicep. And the flexing was not just for show. It was to pummel the nose of an interfering bugger in my life to prove that I’m a man. Yet, the ladies did not seem to like that at all. They would prefer skinny Fernando to open doors for them and tell them they look lovely than buff Gonzalez measuring the inches of his triceps with a square metre ruler.

Christ was quite the gentleman. 2000 years later and he’s the most talked about man with the life to emulate. Whether you believe in him or not, you will find these characteristics of being a gentleman to be quite helpful when relating with the fairer sex; ladies. They are all derived from his teachings and lifestyle. In regards to “lady”, the dictionary has 12 definitions for that too!

Duty not Domination

A gentleman is about duty not domination. The bigger the muscles, the bigger the man, you have heard it said. I put it to you that in any environment where ladies exist, declaring a stand without putting a fist or a raised voice or an I’m-the-man-in-the-house attitude will score you brownie points. What is a man’s duty? To protect the weak, to fend for the needy and to love unconditionally. This is what Christ did. He protected the prostitute from being stoned to death. He used his resources to feed the hungry and meet the needs of those in trouble. He loved and still loves unconditionally without strings attached. Christ had the power to show his power over a puny human race but he chose not to but to serve. Duty over domination dear man.

Responsibility not Rank

A gentleman should value responsibility over rank. Where the rubber meet the road, nobody cares who’s the man on top and running things; people want to know who can get the job done. There’s a (pitiable if I may add) trend that being a man is all about swagger, infamously abbreviated as swag. Get your dictionary for that one. The meaning is hideous! I won’t hesitate to let you know that there aren’t 12 definitions for that, there’s only one; pride and arrogance. Swag may get you looking like 50, talking like Weezy and acting like Jay-Z but five years down the line swag isn’t going to keep a happy marriage. Ladies will want to marry someday. They need gentlemen who value responsibility over elevation. The sagging jeans, course language and abrasive attitude in the media gives the so called “heros” rank and makes them look like the definition of “men.” They are wrong. It is more important to be a hero than to simply look like one. Gentlemen have class. Being a hero is responsibility. How? Take care of your health (diet, exercise, and NO to intoxicants). Take care of your character (how you treat people you don’t need). Take care of your sexuality (save it for one woman). Swag is for boys; class if for gentlemen.

Support not Superiority

A gentleman is about support and not superiority. One of Christ’s disciples told the men to treat ladies with delicate care as they are the weaker vessel lest their prayers are not answered. When we say weaker, we do not mean the man is superior. We just mean he has more resilience than his wife or significant
other. She may not stretch to your capacity. So support her. Don’t show her you’re “the man”. Show her you’re a man. Support her. Slow your tongue if you’re rubbing her roughly with your words. Carry her bag when you see it weighing her shoulders down. Help her with her books from the library and change her tire when the car flats out. Be a gentleman.

Sacrifice not Supremacy

A gentleman is about sacrifice and not supremacy. Three months ago as I was doing my internship, I saw an old lady, carrying three gurney sacks of bottles. She was going to dispose them and get a small fee from the trash company about a kilometre ahead. The lady was going to collapse at the rate she was moving. She couldn’t abandon the bags. The company was going to close and she would have to carry them back home if she didn’t make it in time. To add to the burden, they weighed a ton. A bunch of men walked by, looking at her and continued their way remarking how heavy those bags looked. I almost did the same but I was compelled to be different. I was in my official shoes, designer shirt and tie but I helped her carry two gurney bags and left her with the lightest. I will never forget the look on her face as we walked the distance. She wanted to give me cash for the trouble but I refused. She was perplexed! How was it that a man sacrificed without expecting compensation? She said something to me in Swahili
but I have translated it to English.

“Many men your age in their suits and ties would never help an stranded old lady. I have a young man like you and I hope he becomes just like you. May God bless you so much!”

So what’s the deal? Gentlemen sacrifice their comfort for ladies to go through life in peace. We are built to handle it. We can carry three gurney bags without having a hormonal imbalance. We are the gentlemen. The supremacy of can’t-get-my-hands-dirty or why-should-I-sacrifice will put you on the lower side of the chain dear brother. Stand up in a bus for a lady. I did that once this year for a girl about my age or older. She was so touched; she couldn’t stop smiling the entire trip. Such extreme joyous reactions tell us something; the gentlemen are few today. If they were plenty, the ladies wouldn’t be overwhelmed by an everyday kind gesture.

Provision not Prominence

Being a gentleman is about provision and not prominence. Give, give, give. Christ said, as quoted by one of his most fervent followers called Paul, It is better to give than to receive. Case closed.

Commitment not Competition

Being a gentleman is about commitment and not competition. You see, Christ did not just desire men of faith but faithful men. She’s the one and she’s the only. Treat her no lesser in your allotting of time and affection to her and her alone. Don’t share your heart. She wants to be your exclusive. So be hers in equality. The world tells us, that the more women my lap can hold, the manlier I am. I assure you, the more committed you are to the one beautiful girl, the manlier you are.

Where are the gentlemen of today? Hats off, chin up and love the ladies not only in words or tongue but with actions and in truth!





Ernest is a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband, and a father. He has been married to Waturi since September 2012. They have three children- Thandiwe, Ivanna, and Theo. He is also the author of four books. The Wamboyes are passionate to see the Gospel of Jesus Christ clearly taught and understood in our post-modern world. They are champions of biblical discipleship and furthering the Kingdom of God by transforming one person at a time. They are the founders of The Relationship Centre Ltd (TRC), an organisation that aims to promote biblical family values in contemporary urban communities.

Discussion8 Comments

  1. ernest! I know that this is for men only but i just had to read… I have loved this piece, the more i try to undastand why ladies in this generation feel frustrated and hopeless when they luk at the men around them is bcoz the men around us r nt gentlemen, they instead want to ascertain their supremacy instead of their support, yet i'm learning that when a gentleman supports you thru it all, submission comes so easily…thanks ernie, kp up! Baraka

  2. Most of the times I might not know if I what am doing is right or wrong, nd reading such articles helps me better gauge myself… I hv a plus on some of those points, but others such as support I need some work…
    We might not do the opposite wrong thing such as show superiority (as one of the points above), but are we doing the good thing by showing support?
    Nd that was kind of you, helping that lady. Nd I agree with you completely, it actually brings fulfilment and joy to see that you have put a smile on someone's face… Nd the most amazing thing is that most of the times if not all it never costs you a penny just to make someone smile….

    Kudos Ernest nd keep up with the amazing articles….

Leave A Reply