Recently, a friend of mine asked me to help advise some couple friends who were tired of their new marriage. They were even considering calling it quits. Their fights were no longer cute disagreements about toothpaste and socks in the living rooms. They had reached an upscale war of vicious fights and quarrels and nobody was backing out. No infidelity…More
Question Hi Ernest. I would like to say thank you for the ministry that you and your wife are doing. I have personally been blessed and I have learned to put my trust in Christ whenever I face obstacles in my life. But I’m writing to you on a different note. I am a born again Christian and I was…More
In January we received an email that signed off like this: “I have started reading Lust and the City. I’m happy to have the book with me. But one thing is that I want God to deliver me for this porn and masturbation problem. Please support me in prayers.” My wife and I get many emails like those. During the month of…More
The gender wars on how men should love women and how women should love men have flooded the blogosphere. Often, several readers inbox me soliciting my advice as well. I frequently point them to the scriptures and the responses are not very exciting. Perhaps they wanted some avant-garde view that had never been heard of before. They hoped I would…More
Exodus 20:3 has the first commandment of the Decalogue: “You shall have no other gods but me.” With the biblical and historical background of Israel written for us, we can easily point out the idols- the golden calf, the Baal statues, the Asherah poles and the molded pagan deities. It is easy to look at all those and think, “Well, I definitely…More
When my wife and I are out ministering, we often ask believers what they do to avoid falling into the temptation of sexual sin. One of the number one responses that we hear is run like Joseph! If not Joseph, run like a Kenyan gold medalist! If you don’t know the story of Joseph, here is an excerpt that inspires that response:…More
I have attended many weddings since our own and I can’t help but notice something key in the fantastic sermons prepared by pastors for the bride and groom. Pastor John Wesley Nguuh preached in our wedding from Colossians 1 and 2 and he too did a great job at giving us last minute pieces of advice before we became man…More
My wife and I have had several born-again young women write to us about the ups and downs of dating and young marriage relationships in the 21st century. One particular recurrent issue we keep hearing is, “I don’t feel protected by him” or “I just don’t feel safe with him.” When the young Christian man hears the term “protect your woman”…More
I woke up this morning to a Facebook post from my cousin. She asked: What holds a man back from committing to marriage? The question is general so let me clarify. The context of the question was notwithstanding all struggles such as lack of money, a strained relationship or lack of a woman to marry. The assumption was a man who ought…More
Boniface Nyoike is a good friend of mine. I invited him to speak at the Men of Integrity (Mo1) ministry that I lead at CITAM Valley Road mid this year. Apologies for the distractions in the recording at the start. If you are a man, I urge you to be humble, teachable and listen. Listen. Generally speaking, we men hardly…More
When I got married, I was met with a few realities that I never expected. I thought I was weird for having encountered these realities until I spoke to a few other married folk, only to realize that the experiences were mutual. I thank God that I was prepared for some of these realities thanks to pre-marital counselling and my…More
Gentlemen, your lady meets you for a coffee date and she is depressed. You naturally ask what the matter is. She reveals that she has just accidentally sent money via M-PESA to the wrong person. You panic for her and ask her the amount. 10,000 KES, she responds. “Did you call Safaricom?” you ask, frantic. She says she did and they…More
On September 1st 2014, Waturi and I celebrated 2 years of marriage. Last year, I wrote a list of things I learnt in my first year in marriage. It was undoubtedly a post that drew many to ask if there will be one like it every year. As I expected, I received messages from a few asking what was on the…More
Over the past one year, I have had several twenty-something year old Christians inbox me questions about dating. I found several negative themes in majority of these questions (not all, but majority). Some of these were: difficulty to maintain sexual purity, identity crisis, disillusionment about a good marriage, scepticism about their current relationships and uncertainty of dating again. To sum up all…More
Have you given up on love? Men and women walking with God who get into serious relationships need to be patient with each other during difficult times. Often I have heard of two well-meaning people who lose a good relationship at the first sign of trouble. When the mushy feeling disappeared, when one ate ugali with their fingers instead of using…More
